Pitcairn Islands
Thursday, October 26, 2006 I'm the Leader, I'm the Leader ............

In the words of the immortal song, 'I'm the Leader of the Gang, I am!'.

And I'm back!

Back from where?, I hear some of you new readers say. Well boys and girls, as some of you remember, about 3 months ago we, the Proud Fekkin Pitcairners, declared a state of war with the United States, I said at the time that we would make mistakes, and declaring war was just about the biggest.

The night after the declaration was announced I had retired to bed, with a good book and a goblet of Pay D'Oc, as is my custom, when I heard strange noises from outside my verandah, well not so much strange noises, as noises! When you live on an island with a population of less than a schoolroom, any noise is to be listened too. Anyway, whether it was the goblet of vino, or the book, very shortly I was asleep.

At some point that night, I will never know when, I was extracted by US Special Forces and have spent the last 3 months in an orange jump suite having the shit kicked out of me in some secluded prison camp.

Now I know you'll find it hard to believe, but trying to convince my interrogators that my declaration of war was not Al Queda led, was not an easy task, my Oxford accent, perfectly sculptured moustache and complete command of social etiquette, simply wasn't enough to convince them that I wasn't Bini Laden's right hand man in the Pitcairns.

Only after 88 days of solitary confinement, 44 of which where spent on my own, endless hours of relentless interrogation, questions upon questions, did they manage to satisfy themselves that I was indeed Lord St. Range of the Pitcairn Islands, Her Majesty's Special Envoy to the South Seas.

So it was a great relief to me to be set free - to once more wreak havoc upon the international political scene. The photograph above shows my triumphal arrival in Plumber's Inlet.

Posted by Pitcairn Islanders - The Real Christians :: 6:17 AM :: 17 comments

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